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The Undisputed Pinnacle Of Engineering. 1993 Geo Metro

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https://austin.craigslist.org/cto/5299040818.html

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God is dead - But before he left, he gave us one last miracle.

The 1993 Geo Metro represents the peaceful bridge between the Eastern and Western worlds, owing to its origins as a partnership between manufacturers GM and Suzuki. It serves as a testament that we can live and work in harmony across different cultures and worlds, to produce new ideas and cars that are greater than the sum of their parts.

The 1993 Geo Metro is shining beacon of hope that we can cleanly live with respect to our planet, with its hardly polluting 1.0L 3 Cylinder engine. Gaia will look upon you and smile when she sees you achieving an EPA estimated 53 MPG in the city and 58 MPG on the highway. The eco revolution could begin with you!

The 1993 Geo Metro is a car for those with nothing to hide; Its many blemishes are plainly visible, from the shattered headlight lens, to the remnants of a once installed wheelchair ramp, to the utterly destroyed interior. The lack of a muffler sends a very loud, clear message to other drivers: "I'm here. I'm a Geo. Get used to it."

The 1993 Geo Metro is a car for the hardworking American that doesn't want anything handed to them. No power steering, no antilock brakes, and no electric windows. This is a vehicle meant for those with the strength and will to tame it, without any assistance from technology designed for the lazy masses.

The 1993 Geo Metro is a car for those who don't like to play by the rules. The lapsed registration and inspection serve as a figurative middle finger to the oppressive authorities who demand you have a muffler and working turn signals. As Luke Skywalker used the Millennium Falcon to push back against the Empire, so will you use this car to push back against the Texas Department of Public Safety.

You will face great challenges should you choose to accept your fate as a Geo owner. You will be an outlaw, unless you take on the daunting task of making this car legal, having to venture out to find a muffler welder and new turn signals. While it runs, you will have trouble accelerating quickly, as the transmission does not like to go below 3rd. Lesser people may mock you for the horrible interior and disassembled back seats, not realizing the great power that they're in the presence of. Your loyalty to regularly using this vehicle will be constantly tested, because the battery tends to go dead if you don't start it for more than about a week.

However great the challenge, the reward will be even greater. Fame, fortune, good health, attractive members of the opposite sex (or the same sex! The Geo won't judge.) will all be yours. The meaning of life and car ownership will become clear. Should you die in glorious car to car combat as a result of the tiny body and lack of airbags, you will ascend to Valhalla where you will feast and battle with other Geo owners for all eternity.

The 1993 Geo Metro has chosen you. Are you brave enough to accept its calling?

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Maybe $300 to go take it into the woods and jump it off some ramps or crush it with a big lifted pickup.

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Gaia will look upon you and smile when she sees you achieving an EPA estimated 53 MPG in the city and 58 MPG on the highway. The eco revolution could begin with you!

 

The 1993 Geo Metro represents the peaceful bridge between the Eastern and Western worlds, owing to its origins as a partnership between manufacturers GM and Suzuki. It serves as a testament that we can live and work in harmony across different cultures and worlds, to produce new ideas and cars that are greater than the sum of their parts.

 

"From the United States: GM, with the power of cash. From Japan: Suzuki, with the power of building subcompacts that suck less than GM's. And from Canada: CAMI, with the power of... Canada."

 

"By your powers combined, I am CAPTAIN ECONOBOX!"

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Psssh, Han Solo captains the Millennium Falcon. Not Luke. This guy's writing sucks. :P

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"From the United States: GM, with the power of cash. From Japan: Suzuki, with the power of building subcompacts that suck less than GM's. And from Canada: CAMI, with the power of... Canada."

 

"By your powers combined, I am CAPTAIN ECONOBOX!"

You just sucker-punched my childhood. :P

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Reminds me of an old story -

<snip>

 

I borrowed my wife's Geo Metro last night. One liter of raw power, three cylinders of asphalt-tearing terror on thirteen-inch rims. It's stock, alright, nothing done to it, but it pushes the barely 2000 pounds of metro around with AUTHORITY. I'm always catching mopeds and 18-wheelers by surprise...

I was headed back from Baskin Robbins with my manly triple-latte cappuccino blast ("No Cinnamon, ma'am, I take it BLACK"), when I stopped at a streetlight. As the Metro throbbed its throaty idle around me, I sipped my bold beverage and wiped the white froth my stiff upper lip. I was minding my own business, but then I heard a rev from the next lane. I turned, made eye contact, then let my eyes trace over the competition. Ford Festiva-a late model, could be trouble. Low profile tires, curb feelers, and schoolbus-yellow paint. Yep, a hot rod, for sure. The howl of his motor snapped my reverie, and I looked back into the driver's eyes, nodded, then blipped my own throttle. As I tugged on my driving gloves and slipped on my sunglasses (gotta look cool to be fast, and I am *damn* cool, hence...), the night was split with the sound of seven screaming cylinders...

Then the light turned... I almost had him out of the hole, my three pounding cylinders thrusting me at least a millimeter back into my seat, as smoke pouring from my front right tire... my unlimited slip differential was letting me down! I saw in the corner of my eyes, a yellow snout gaining, and I heard the roar of his four cylinders. He slung by me, right front wheel juddering against the pavement, and he flashed me a smile as his .7 extra liters of motor stretched its legs. I kept my foot gamely in it, though, waiting for the CHECK ENGINE light to blink on in the one-gauge (no tachometer here!) instrument panel. I saw a glimpse of chrome under his bumper, and knew the ugly truth... He was running a custom exhaust-probably a 2-into-1 dual exhaust...maybe event cutouts! Damn his hot-rod soul! The old lady passing us on the crosswalk cast a dirty look in our boy-racer direction... Yet still I persisted, with my three pumping pistons singing a heady high-pitched song, wound fully out.

Though only a few handfuls of seconds had passed, we were nearing the crosswalk at the other side of the intersection, and I heard the note of his engine change as he made his shift to second, and I saw his grin in his rearview mirror fade as he missed the shift! I rocketed by, shifting, and nursed the clutch gently in to keep from bogging, keeping my motor spinning hot and pulling me ahead, now trailing a cloud of stinking clutch smoke. Not ready to give up so easily, he left his foot in it, revving, and I heard one wheel *almost* chirp as he finally found second and dropped the clutch. We careened over the crosswalk, now going at least 15 miles per hour. A bicyclist passed us, but intent on the race as we were, neither of us batted an eye.

He pulled slowly abreast of me, and neck and neck, we made the shift to third, the scream of motors deafening all pedestrians within a five foot circle. He nosed ahead as we passed 30 miles an hour, then eased in front of me, taunting, as we shifted into fourth. I was staring up the dual 6" chrome tips of his exhaust, snarling, my cappuccino forgotten, as he lifted a little to take the next corner.

I saw my opportunity, and counting on the innate agility of my trusty steed, I pulled wide into the number two lane and kept my foot buried in carpet. Slowly, I inched around him, feeling my Metro roll slowly to the left as I came abreast in the midst of this gradual sweeping turn. I felt the Geo ease onto its suspension stops, and felt the right rear wheel slowly leave the ground - no matter, though, because my drive wheels, up front, were pulling me through the corner, and around the Festiva ...

The Ford driver beat his wheel in rage as my wife's car eased past him on the outside, my P165/55R13's screaming in protest, as we raced to the next light. We coasted down, neck-and neck, to the red light. I tightened my driving gloves, ready for another round, when this WIMP in the next car meekly flipped his turn signal and made a right. Chevy (Suzuki) superiority reigns!!! I drove off sipping my masculine drink, awash in my sheer virility, looking for other unwitting targets.... Perhaps a Yugo, or maybe even a Volkswagen Van!

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Hahahahhahahahahahaha

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If I ever found a Geo Metro in the right price range and right condition, I would so pick one up. Especially the 3 cylinder manual trans version. Because seriously, what could break on that? :P

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Because seriously, what could break on that? :P

 

 

Your self-respect. 

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That's been long gone :)

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If I ever found a Geo Metro in the right price range and right condition, I would so pick one up. Especially the 3 cylinder manual trans version. Because seriously, what could break on that? :P

 

Front control arms. Apparently they are prone to rust.

 

If I was to get an econobox it would be purely for the fuel economy. The only car I will consider atm is a new Fiesta sedan with the turbo three and a five speed. Same fuel mileage as the old Metro's but much nicer. If a tiny rattlecan econobox can be considered nice.

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That's the best part is it IS a s**tbox :D I'll undercoat the hell out of the front control arms, problem solved :)

 

I have a thing for s**tboxes.

 

Geo Metros, Ford Festivas, Yugos, Trabants, not sure why, but s**tboxes facinate me :D

 

But then again, I also have a thing for land yachts and Ford Tauruses... I've been called weird for as long as I can remember... :P

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A local auto parts store used a fleet of 3 cyl Geo Metros as parts runners for years, long after they were no longer for sale. Seemed like a smart idea. Fuel sippers that were cheap to maintain.

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If I ever found a Geo Metro in the right price range and right condition, I would so pick one up. Especially the 3 cylinder manual trans version. Because seriously, what could break on that? :P

 

I replaced head gaskets on one of those for a neighbor of mine back when I lived in Milwaukee...probably the easiest HG job on earth.

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